Interracial Dating and Relationships

Kenny Rodgers’ in his song “coward of the county” tells that “there is someone for everyone.” This line makes so much sense and meaning to immigrants who move into an entirely new society but still find love there.

As you will be moving around the world, just trying to mind your business, a beautiful woman or handsome, Mr. perfect will cross your path. From short greetings to conversations and regular meet ups, this person will soon captivate your heart. Soon it will be very difficult to imagine living a life without this one person who was once a stranger.

As sure as anyone can testify, romantic relationship and dating know no boundaries. It can start anywhere and anyhow but the beauty of it all is how easily you overcome your insecurities and open up your life to each other. I always say that in everything, love wins. Although some people may not clearly remember how fast things run until they fall in love, it just happens somewhat, somehow. 

Interracial lovebirds

For someone who is carefree to fully experience their new environment and having fun, it is likely to bounce on someone who will melt your heart and sweep you off the bachelorhood. As much as this comes out almost naturally, it is a personal responsibility to remain in control. Do not be so much indulgent in kissing a lot of frogs in the hope of finally getting the right one. The truth of the matter is that with dating comes sex and fun. In all these, there is a risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections.

Just blind as love is said to be, an immigrant will find a  prince or princess charming in their new home, work or leisure places. Sometimes, the suitors could be so many that one is spoilt for choices. However, a few things are worth writing about on romantic relationships across races.   

As much as it is impossible to resist love, people from different racial backgrounds may find it a lot more difficult dating. This difficulty does not necessarily mean that such relationships are doomed and unable to work out. It is just but a practical result of differences in socialisation and culture between the lovebirds.

Misunderstanding in Interacial Dating and Relationships

Talk to anyone dating or married to someone of a different race and they will surprise you how many challenges they have. This is not to mean that same race marriages do not have their ups and downs but interracial ones may be unique somehow.

Just as a disclaimer so that this is not misunderstood, interracial dating and marriages should be encouraged for their many benefits. But, even as this happens, we should openly discuss the challenges that are or may be experienced therein so that people who find themselves in such a relationship may find a way out.

Characteristically, interracial dating and relationships may be inundated with disagreements and misunderstandings on even some of the basic things of life. At some point, a partner may mistakenly feel emotionally drained and overwhelmed.

Dating sites for Starting interracial relationships

Previously, it was quite a difficult thing to get into a relationship with someone of a different race. However, this is not the case anymore today as dating sites and social events have become so common meeting places.

A quick click on the dating sites will mesmerize you with the faces of people of different races looking to start relationships. Through such platforms, people get to interact, form a bond, and probably take it offline to meet privately.

The stages of interracial dating, relationships and marriages

People who have been in interracial relationships, dating, and marriage may bear me forth that it is not always so easy.  From the word go, one keeps guessing what makes the other party tick, what their reservations are, and their value systems.

Initially, the relationship between individuals of different races is a process of trying to learn one another, proving or disproving long-held perceptions, and many more. Here, people become too sensitive to strange behavior which makes it very volatile. A slight deviation from anything that one believes as normal may lead to a full-blown disagreement, especially if one lacks proper temperament.  

In the second phase, people begin to adjust and make certain compromises….phrases like “I will allow this and that but..” are so common. Here, everyone is in a rush to draw the extent to which they can adjust their boundaries. Of course, how this process pans out will vary from one person to the next based on an individual’s emotional status.

The third phase may be tolerable or overly chaotic. Here someone has been so accommodating and compromising certain things just to keep the relationship blissful. At the end of the day, people have given up some part of their lives to let in the other party. How this plays out depends on whether each of the parties feels appreciated and paid back for the much that they have given up.

Issues that may frustrate interracial relationships and marriages

Just to restate the initial standpoint, every marriage and relationship is unique in its own way. And focusing on interracial marriage here does not necessarily mean that same-race ones are best either. In essence, nobody is trying to make comparisons whatsoever.

Like in any relationship, people start off by showing their best side, sometimes manipulating their true personality to entice the other party. But as they say, it is not possible to hide the real “you” for too long. Sooner or later, the real you will begin to manifest.

Differences in how people are socialised are one primary cause of challenges that people always experience in interracial relationships. Take for example someone coming from a society where people help each other freely without expecting payback while the other is brought up to live independently. There is bound to be a conflict between the two in this kind of relationship.

In certain cases too, men who come from a highly patriarchal society may find it very difficult to sustain a relationship with an independent woman. In some societies like in Scandinavia, women take the lead and are very independent. Merging the two to form a lasting and stable relationship may be a tall order.

Coping with interracial dating, relationships and marriages

Some people will naively dismiss the real challenges in interracial relationships by flying flattery remarks such as “let love win” et cetera. In the real sense, it requires a lot of compromises, open-mindedness, creativity, and accommodation to keep interracial marriages flourishing.

To begin with, parties in interracial relationships will have to accept the reality that their socialization is completely different. These differences are something to work on through conscious compromises and readiness to learn. Eventually, the two are able to come up with a hybrid reality that is acceptable to both parties.

It is not advisable that only one party compromises its own socialization for the other. The real deal is that if only one side tries to lie low while the other does nothing completely, there is a possibility of feeling too boxed. With the tire of being boxed, one will burst out like a bubble and the whole relationship may just come down crumbling.

Deciding on whether one is just in a short fling or something bigger is also a great thing. You know, it is easier to hide your true personality if the relationship is just meant to be for enjoyment or something greater. But it is not possible to do the same with long-term relationships. So, decide early enough and put the right foot forward.

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An avid storyteller and passionate writer with a penchant for letting people know that which they don't know while at the same time telling people more about what they may already have known. At the end, you stay informed, be curious, and get cosy.